Let me start with this: I’ve always feared being average. Or more precisely, discovering that I’m nothing more than average.

That fear was one of the biggest undercurrents of my childhood. I grew up with the weighty promise that each of us is special - a product, perhaps, of that millennial-era parenting philosophy. During my teenage years, I believed I had to outgrow myself every year. Reinvent, evolve, become someone new - year after year.

The thought of standing still terrified me. I believed that if I ever stopped transforming, I would slip into a kind of quiet irrelevance. I would become ordinary. And to my younger self, there was nothing more tragic.

It has taken me years to unlearn that belief. To understand that being average is not failure. But let us come back to that in a moment.

On the Sidelines

Looking back, I think I developed an aversion to competition early on. School already carried the pressure of high performance - and it was never subtle. If you underperformed, you knew. They’d tell your parents, rank you publicly, compare you to the top. You were always being measured.

Adding more - through sports, games, or extracurriculars - felt unbearable. So, I opted out.

I stayed on the sidelines.

Sports? I did not join. Online gaming? I watched, but rarely played. Extracurriculars? I avoided them altogether until my twenties.

Back then, I told myself I just wasn’t interested. But the truth? I was scared. Scared that if I gave it my all and still faded into the crowd, it would confirm the thing I feared most:

That I was just average.

And that fear didn’t stop at school. It followed me into work, too. In a world obsessed with top performers, being average feels risky. Average means replaceable. Average means first in line when cuts come. Average means you’re quietly passed over - again and again.

What It Means to Be Average

Over time, I have come to see that average is not the same as meaningless. It is not failure, and it is certainly not something to be ashamed of. But the world has wired us to think otherwise.

Social media has magnified this obsession with exceptionalism. Every scroll is a reminder of someone else’s peak moment. You are shown success, brilliance, beauty, and boldness - condensed into bite-sized envy. In a world where “greatness” is constantly paraded in front of us, being “okay” feels like being invisible.

The truth is, most lives are built in the quiet. They are not viral. They are not groundbreaking. And yet, they are full of meaning.

Being average might mean choosing stability over spectacle. It might mean prioritizing consistency over chaos. It might mean building something slowly, quietly, without applause - because it matters to you.

From a Developer’s Desk

As a software developer, this realization became even more personal.

In tech, we often chase the shiny: new frameworks, cutting-edge stacks, tools that promise 10x results. There is a cultural push to always be learning, always optimizing, always ahead of the curve. If you are not contributing to open-source or shipping side projects at midnight, are you even a real dev?

But here is the twist - some of the most “average” tools quietly run the world.

Think of rsync, awk, or cron. They are not glamorous. They are not trending. You will not see them topping Hacker News. But they are solid. They do one thing well, and they do it without fuss. They have stood the test of time not because they are flashy, but because they are reliable.

And sometimes, I wonder - what if that is enough for me, too?

Maybe I will not build the next unicorn startup. Maybe my name will not be in a keynote. But maybe I am the cron job of someone’s life - quietly doing good work, showing up every day, and making things a little better.

Redefining Growth

I no longer chase reinvention the way I used to. That need to transform every year? It was born out of fear, not freedom. These days, growth feels different. It is quieter, steadier, more rooted.

I still hear that voice sometimes - the one that whispers, “What if this is all you are?” But more and more, I find myself replying, “And if it is, maybe that is enough.”

Embracing the Ordinary

If you have ever feared being average, you are not alone. But maybe the goal was never to be exceptional by the world’s definition. Maybe the real goal is to be authentic - to live a life that is yours, not someone else’s highlight reel.

To show up, to build, to care. To leave things a little better than you found them.

That is not average. That is extraordinary in its own quiet way. Just not in the way we were taught to recognize.